Internet Marketing Defined

When reading Tamkin’s email about the Definition of Marketing, I felt there was something missing….so I added to it!

You see the same gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and chat for a while, listen, empathise, pick up on her biggest challenges (she is single, ready to settle down, and would like to meet someone with passion, purpose and a bit of substance instead of the total neurotic, skint losers she usually seems to attract).  Without giving too much away, you gently yet mysteriously and intriguingly indicate that you may be able to help.  You get her card or number, with permission to contact her again. 

By the time she get’s home, you have left a little message to thank her for spending time with you, and giving her a quick tip, hint or resource that may amuse or help her.  Two days later, you contact her again, with another suggestion and an invitiation for coffee  You take flowers – a big designer bunch of them – and it goes well, so in another couple of days you contact her again, with a dinner invite.  You make it very easy for her to accept, you give her all the details, you pick her up, with more designer flowers and perhaps a CD of her favourite band, and during the meal you let her know that she is liked, respected and will be safe with you.  You have a great time!  You kiss her on the cheek at the end of the evening when you drop her off.

A couple of days later, you contact her again with another date invitation, ……….and so it goes on varying the venue, the time of day and the entertainment, until, about about the 10th date, you invite her away for the weekend to an AMAZING castle in the country. 

Again you make it easy to accept by telling her upfront that you will book a suite, with two bedrooms, and will pick her up.  You also tell her what to bring, clotheswise, so she’s ready for country walks, cosy nights in the local pub and a swanky candlelit dinner in the castle restuarant.  You NEVER at any time mention underwear – although you have popped along to Agent Provocateur and bought something very glamourous and wonderful in the right size (taking advice from the female assistant!!).

You never, at any time on that weekend, say: “I am very rich. Marry me !” 

You don’t need to, because by now, she loves you and and wants you, regardless of your status and will say “Yes!” to anything (you still ask her to marry you first!!)

That’s permission based, relationship orientated, “long tail” based internet marketing!

Copyright Nicola Cairncross April 2008

Marketing Defined

Courtesy of Tamkin Riaz, for whom I’m speaking on 22nd April in London at the Entrepreneurs Club

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. “Marry me !”
“That’s Direct Marketing”

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. “Marry him.”

“That’s Advertising”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. “Marry me.”

“That’s Telemarketing”

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: “By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?”

“That’s Public Relations”

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:”You are very rich! “Can you marry ! me?”

“That’s Brand Recognition”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

“That’s Customer Feedback”

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” -and she introduces you to her husband.

“That’s demand and supply gap”

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her:

“I’m rich. Will you marry me?” - and she goes with him..

“That’s competition eating into your market share”

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!”  -and your wife arrives.

“That’s restriction for entering new markets”